Toddlers love it when things get awkward.

Toddlers love to make things awkward, yes siree.
One day in Dublin, my fashion-designer friend Jane had a meeting but no babysitter. “Don’t worry, bring her along,” Eimear, fellow designer, assured her.

So she did, and later Jane stood outside Eimear’s house. She rang the doorbell and waited. No answer. She tried again. Nothing.

Jane scanned the front windows, mentally checking the date and time.

She rang the bell one last time and Eimear’s husband hurriedly opened the door. “She’s in the shower, will be down in two secs,’ he said, ushering Jane and her toddler into the kitchen.

Eimear soon appeared, wafting shampoo, and offering Jane a cup of tea. While they discussed designs, Jane’s toddler inspected this new terrain for possibilities. “Don’t worry,’ Eimear said, “She’s not disturbing anyone.” Mid-meeting, Eimear went to fetch fabric and in her absence, Jane’s toddler waddled over, extending a used tissue. Unsurprised by such a gift, Jane stood to return it to the bin. There, however, she found, on the floor, what had fallen from it.

A used condom.

Shit…. Should she leave it there or put it back in the bin?

She didn’t have time do either as Eimear returned just then.


© M. E. Walsh

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